I can’t think of which word hits me harder. What I do know is I’m definitely not listing either fact on my online dating profile or my professional resume. Ha, “professional.” I use this word graciously. I don’t think I could confidently claim to be professional in my career or professional in my dating life. I’m the kinda girl that’s tried a little bit of a lot of things. A “Jill of all trades” if you will. Not because I’m more adventurous than my female counterparts per say, but because I get bored so quickly I have lovingly diagnosed myself with attention deficit disorder (Cameron-style). The ADDCS (attention deficit disorder Cameron-style) kicks in during, but not limited to: astronomy discussions of why one star is brighter than another, Star Trek Trivia Night, arguments versus left wing/right wing/wrong wing/organic grain fed wing, and being forced to add, subtract, multiply or divide without a calculator. My eyes well at the thought.
Take for example, me learning to surf. Instead of riding the ultimate wave I get distracted by boogie boarding, body surfing, the miracle of my feet sinking in the sand more and more with each foamy caress, and sharks. This sort of quick distraction makes my personal odds of landing both a dream job and landing a dream man seem to me like landing on the moon. Not because it’s impossible, but because I happen to try to get to space in a rocket I made out of sticks, aluminum foil, and rubber bands all dipped in pink glue because I think it’s a good idea.
My quest to find my dream job and dream man is not taken lightly. I’ve felt passion before. My pupils dilate, my heart races, my sense of smell is on point, I pet stranger’s dogs, and then I high five the dog owner. Twice. My difficult quest is not complete until I am in this desired state of mind and soul. Until then I’m forced to army crawl my way through the masses of bad dates and disheartening lack of responses from future employers.
I know what you’re thinking. How, you ask, can this vibrant young woman of 28 years find both dreams at the same time? Well I shall answer and say, it’s not going to be easy. But I am willing to take the high road/long road/uphill road both ways to get there.
The fact of the matter is… I’m almost thirty. There, I said it. I have written a “To Do Before I’m Thirty” list and I don’t think I’ve un-crumpled that napkin in some time. While I am a fan of being an empowered, successful and fulfilled single woman, the reality is that my ovaries have no idea what that means. I can feel them dying, along with my desire for sleepless nights and ear-ringing cries. I need to get on this pastel colored bandwagon before it runs me over because I waited too long. Since I want to have a long, lustrous and booming career before I have children… well then I need to nail that interview, like, yesterday.
I think the universe is trying to have some fun with me and decided to add a troubled economy into the mix. This does not help either situation on my behalf. No one seems to be hiring, and men don’t have enough money for their own place, let alone a date. All I want is a happy hour appetizer finely paired with two glasses of half priced wine while I’m trying to figure out if I can tolerate the man sitting in front of me enough for a second date. Is that too much to ask?
